muscleWe'll start at the end and work our way to that from which we came.
I'm sitting in a computer lab at the library. I should have been hre almost an hour ago but after Judo practice I was exausted. Exausted to the point where I couldnt have imagined a possible worse fate. I need to describe this feeling for a bit incase people dont understand what it feels like to have truely no power over ones own body.
I was sitting on the bench my head propped up on my hands because my neck muscles were too sore to hold up my head's weight. My arms werent numb from excercising, they didnt have the energy left in them to hold the lump of mass on my shoulders either. Fortunately, I wedged my elbows in the right possision so that I didnt have to use any muscle, gravity was holding my head in place.
Problem solved.. right? Not when your body aches so much your blood cant decide which areas should have priority. I could see my arms shaking and throbbing in pain, but I couldnt help but wonder why my body chose to send the blood there as I got dizzy from the lack of oxygen being pumped to my aching skull. I couldnt tell if my brain was too tired to tell my arms to move, or if atrophy had set into them. Probably a little of both. I couldnt really ponder that too much as my mind was having difficulty thinking of anything but the discursive pain.
I might have felt more alive had I been able to properly breath. Or had there been a drop of moisture on my lips.. or anywhere for that matter. It didnt make sense. I'd just gotten out of the shower, and been at the water fountain for as long as my legs could bear to hold my weight. Why was i so parched.. why was I so hot but not sweating? Worse yet.. why was I too nauseous to drink anymore water.. why was I unable to convince my legs to stand.....
I collapsed... I couldnt sit up anymore.. There I was laying on the bench, my arms fallen to the floor, my head to whichever side gravity preferred, and my heart the last muscle I could feel still working.
Eventually my lungs kicked in, I guess layed out like this it was easier for them to do their thing. The dry air was painful going in, but atleast I could feel my appendages again. I still couldnt move them, atleast not at first.
Two minutes went by. I could begin to move my neck again, but my head was still aching from the inside. I couldnt quite lift it, but atleast now gravity didnt control which ear got pinched against bench.
Five minutes and I could feel my toes again. My legs slowly regained strength as well as my lower abdominals. At this point my neck was also finally starting to win against gravities hold. But would the rest of my body fair so well? Not quite yet.
After a number of deep breaths I finally got enough oxygen to my lower body to supply it with enough energy to attempt the battle verse gravity.
So I tried.. in one movement I managed to get to a slouched possition. My back couldnt straighten and I couldnt move my arms, but atleast I'd made it this far.
Now to see if I could stand....
demonicefficacy
Even though I've had this epiphany before, I figure I might as well put it in writing.
I've come to the realization that I am who I am and I can survive in a world with or without god. Unfotunately there are those people who cannot survive in a world without god and that is why he was created.
Here is how the equation goes... the strong survive... society is much stronger than an individual. in order for an individual to survive he must be able to survive in society. Many people dont realise this. Many people are incapable of naturally doing things that promote high society. Without a god they dont see how killing an innocent person could be wrong... how lying could be wrong... being prejudice could be wrong... they are unable to see the abstract link between certain little things.. like reciprocating - society striving - individual happiness... ...Without a god, these things are still wrong because they destroy what is necessary for individual safety, happiness, love, and self actualization.
For some people.. if there were no god.. they would feel no guilt killing someone... these people are irrational.. They dont seem to fathom that in a world where 'they' have free will to kill anyone, then anyone around them would also have the free will to kill them. Everyone knows the golden rule... do unto others as you would have done unto you. But people dont seem to realise you can use that rule as a basis for morality and deciding what is right and wrong. Karma exists not as some magic aura checking up on people, but as a conditioned actions and reactions that naturally occur (think natural consequence).
Okay.. pretend there is a god for a second. It doesnt matter what you do to someone else, so long as you are doing what god wants, cause god is more powerful then society. Screw society for all you care.. they are less then you anyway.. they dont know the right thing to do.. the GOD mandated thing to do. So long as you're roaming hand in hand with the greatest, you fear no one's judgement. Okay this is the reason god was created. There are a lot of stupid people out there who believe they are better then everyone else, so in a godless society, there would be no reason why they shouldnt take advantage of people, why they shouldnt bother killing people. They think they are stronger than others.. and when they get annoyed, they see no reason why the person annoying them should be alive. These people are EMOTIONAL.... they have logic.. but it is not based on rational thought.. its not based on reality.. it is based on emotion... hormonal imbalances. These people need someone to look up to.. someone to lead them .. be their 'moral compass' because they dont seem to realise that even if they can beat up everyone they've ever met.. they couldnt take them on all at once.
Anyway.. man created god because he realised these irrational people existed and were unable to follow the logic... let alone the laws that logic created. They might think 'why should he have that.. I'm bigger, if i can beat him up.. why shouldnt i? ' (because if you beat him up he might not make more) minor things like that. Anyway.. not being able to see that logic.. rational man had to do something. So in order to control the emotional masses of hormon driven men and women he created a god figure and a story behind why everything exists. So that if emotional man said 'I can do this, why shouldnt I?' ... rational man could just say 'because god created things a certain way, and he doesnt want you to do it a different way'.
Dont get me wrong. I think man needed to create god. Without a figure to be scared of, there would be a lot of people acting out of ignorance and cruelty. The only way to combat those type of people would be to kill them all off, and that option would hurt society.
I've heard people worrying that a godless society would turn into a Nazi Germany. That without god people deemed useless might be killed off.... retards... quadrapalegics... homeless.... that kinda stuff.
And if that happened .. what would stop society from killing off you... or me?
Here is another place I feel people are idiots.. or atleast not confident enough. If society started killing off all those who hurt or hinder society (terrorists, murderers, robbers, maybe... homeless crackheads?) what would stop society from killing off regular people like them too?
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST STOP BEING SO FUCKING WORTHLESS.
Then maybe you wouldnt be so AFRAID of a 'godless' society.
I can be worth something with or without god.
Lets see what you think of me before I write anything... wait.. FUCK... too late
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do I love you?
10. Do you have a crush on me?
11. Would you kiss me?
12. Would you hug me?
13. Physically, what stands out?
14. Emotionally, what stands out?
15. Who’s my best friend?
16. What is the most surprising thing you have seen me do?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
18. Am I loveable?
19. How long have you known me?
20. Describe me in one word.
21. What was your first impression?
22. Do you still think that way about me now?
23. What do you think my weakness is?
24. Do you think I'll get married?
25. What makes me happy?
26. What makes me sad?
27. What reminds you of me?
28. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
30. When's the last time you saw me?
31. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
32. Do you think I could kill someone?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
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